You said that you are the key to open the atrium of others and wish everyone around you to be happy. I had never doubted it.
But, are the two hearts that you want to open-up badly; are they still under the lock? Or they have been open already, just that they are not ready for the first step.
You and I had met for 8 month. It has been 8 month, although is only 8 month. A lot of thing happened within this period of time, but the words that come into my ear constantly tickle me….
“Tuition? Yes, I will attend”
“Complete a single PMR trial paper a day? Yes, I will do it”
“Revise more? Yes, I will”
“Take care of siblings? Ok, no problem”
“…………………….”
I am the President. I must attend this meeting, can I? “No, the examination is more important."
"This performance is a group activity. I must be with the team during this time so that it could be perfect. Therefore I must adjust my tuition classes, could I?” “No, the examination is more important."
“Wow, the show was a success. Can I attend the celebration party? Every one had work so hard to make this a success.” “No, the examination is more important."
From Discovery to Explore, within this 8 month, I saw the continues effort that you put in to uphold your responsibilities. Did the two hearts of yours see this? May be they have seen it. Had they affirmed you? Of course, no objection is a way to express their support. Why can’t they fulfill your request? If you didn’t get a proper result for the test, what can u do in the future? (I imagine their reply)
For the incoming infinite years, I might not able to contact you frequently like before. I won’t be able to hear your current situation in first hand. If you care about the person, maintain it and be like who you were in the past 8 months. Would you continue to grow and shine? Lost a special support from Hoyeh-sheyo. Would you still be the ‘happy key’? They’ll be missing an importance journey in your life, the graduation ceremony. Don't know how long you need to get over this. You do understand it, that’s why your conscious tells you that: never mind they are busy, they actually wanted to attend. Unfortunately, the desire in your heart: If any one of you can attend, it will be wonderful, right? May be you want to give me a surprise, suddenly appear at the ceremony in front of my eye, ha-ha.
Unfortunately both of them did not attend. They miss the chance to see how much you had improved since Explore first presentation until now. The maturity, leader ship ……they lost all the opportunity to show their love and support. They also lost the chance to witness their daughter’s performed confidently on stage, to realize the leader ship skill within and lost the final chance to truly understand what is really happening within the months. When every parent came forward to give their child a hug, I saw you hiding at the corner tearing, I went forward and say: “Come my dear pity child, come give mum a hug”. I could feel the sudden cries when you in my arm.
I couldn’t replace the warmth that they would give you, but if they were there that day definitely you will walk to them ….. Mom and dad, a heart-fat smile, a proud expression and the most trans mating recognition and support throw the hug. If it had happened would it be the stop to all the sorrow?
“Mother, I’m not angry at you, but I want to thank you for allowing me to complete this Explore”
"Dad, I can’t believe you really came, I know you really care about me."
Is this the lines that you had prepared if this situation happened? But when will it be a time where you might have this chance?
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